When does a mom look at their daughter and see a mini version of themselves? Has that ever happened to you? That moment where you think "Oh, shit, she is literally JUST like me". Well, that moment happened to me a couple of days ago when I took my daughter to the psychiatrist and the psych said to me "your daughter has Bipolar". I was shocked but not that shocked because I was anticipating it happening. I just couldn't believe it for a short minute. I wanted to be in denial because the thought of my daughter suffering from the same mental disorder as I do is heart-breaking. But the words and diagnosis was clear as day apparently. I questioned the psych multiple times over and over but she kept giving me the same answer " I am very sure that it's Bipolar". The good thing, if there's a good thing in this, is that she had bipolar II and not bipolar I (I have bipolar I and it sucks, you can ask my wife lol). I much rather have her have bipolar II than the crazy mania bipolar that is bipolar I. Now, I know that many would say "Yari, how could you be chill about this". Well, I have to be because two crazy people in a household is not good. She was given medication and I just hate how she will have to endure the side effects from it. But she was a trooper, though she told me how her day at work went and how hard of a day it was because of stomach pain, headache and the constant feeling of being tired. I advised her that those side effects will subside once her body gets used to the medication.
My wife on the other hand took the news a little more aggressively (if you want to call it that). She was not very shocked but surprised to some extent. Poor thing has to deal with 2 crazy's in the household. At least my daughters hypomania as it is called itsnt eradic like my manic episodes because I think my wife would divorce me then. Nonetheless, she was very supportive and loving like she usually is. She was concerned for me and my reaction to the news. I just need time to process it because even though I had expected something from a diagnosis, it still feels shocking to say the least.
But at that moment, in the psychiatrist office is when I realized that my daughter was the epitome of myself. My mind broke out into song, a song from a disney movie. I just wanted to hear chirping birds and see rainbows with unicorns. Instead, I was faced with despair. But I reminded myself that it is not the end of life and that she is not facing a death sentence (oh my god can you imagine). She is a great kid who has a little bit of a crazy mind and typical mood swings. She just needs a little more patience during those hard days and more love on every day in between. But it is surreal to look at my daughter and think that she has the semi-same mental disorder and of course I feel at fault for it. I cannot stop thinking about the fact that I gave it to her as the psych said "it is very hereditary and from her family history you are also bipolar". No shit sherlock. My wife tried to make me feel better and reminded me that in retrospect I did not physically caused me more like genetics is the culprit of it all. I like that ideology better if you ask me.
I just have to prepare myself for more than just the typical teenage mood swings and teenage behavior. Life help me through this wave!
Stay tuned for updates.......!!!
Have a fruity day!
